Dating, SIngless and peace

As a christian, dating can be a really confusing to try and do holy, involving God. Growing up, I always idolized having a male figure to be my prince. But in my head I also envisioned them being a strong, capable man, one who knew how to love me and treat me like a princess too. The older I got, I carried this with me. I think that turned out well for me because it allowed me to be very, very picky. Junior high me was all, "if you're not a wrestler with curly hair and christian and strong and loving and respectful and a leader and completely in love with me then, no." I found myself being kinda mean to guys, lol. As I cycled through different connections and nothing ever worked, I got to a point I think we have all been at where I began to just want that bond with someone. I wanted a boyfriend! Whether or not they loved God didn't matter to me because I just wanted someone who was cute who I could call mine. In my head, I figured that dating whoever was okay because I knew I wouldn't sleep with them (which is very naive because you both have to be committed to waiting and understand why its important in order for success in purity and waiting until marriage, which is a whole other thing altogether)and because I figured if we were 'meant to be' then they would come to know God and everything would turn out how it's supposed to. I was wrong. Especially so, because when you are one with God, you are satisfied. He provides abundantly and makes you feel so whole and full it brings you to tears and you could never want anything more than to be in His presence forever. It's the most beautiful love story of all time. So to me, wanting that bond over wanting Him was like saying He isn't enough for me and that some other guy who would love me romantically would be. Which is easy to think, when you're living in spiritual death and God isn't alive in you. So find that first oneness with Christ first and embrace singleness for the gift it truly is. Ephesians really helped me to come to an understanding about this and about peace,too. The importance of maintaining an eternal sense of peace in your spirit, in all things... including dating is so vital. Ephesians 4:3 reads, "make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." I believe chasing peace is one of the most important things you can ever do for yourself. This peace is how the Holy Spirit communicates with us. Make every effort to keep the Holy Spirit comfortable living in you. and the Holy Spirit knows who you're going to marry, because the Holy Spirit is God and God knows everything! He is who was, who is, and who is to come. He is over all, through all and in all. He knew you before you were born, he knitted you in your mother's womb knowing who you would marry, and planted desires in your heart that would compliment your spouse. So when it comes to dating, before you create a bond with someone that is significant and strong that can become a soul tie that is hard to break, listen to the Holy Spirit. Lean in, and see if you have peace. Matthew 7:7-8 says,"seek and you will find"..."for everyone who asks receives, the one who seeks finds." If you look and you can't figure it out and find yourself confused, pray. Pray for the other person, pray for yourself and pray that His will be done in and through you both. He is not a God of confusion, he wants you to walk with the Spirit of Truth and have a sound mind and heart. 2 Timothy 1:7 says that, "For the spirit of God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and a sound mind." Some translations change out 'sound mind' for 'sound judgement', 'self-control', or 'self-discipline'. I find that to be so beautiful, that God wants to give us a spirit of a sound mind, lacking in confusion but instead one that walks in self-control and discipline that protects us. He loves us so much, it's wild. He wants this for us in every season. In your season of singleness, in your season of dating, in your season of engagement and in your season of marriage. Matthew 6:33-34 tells us to, "seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." So why worry about who you're going to marry or if the person you're dating is actually the one or, if you're single, when the one you are going to marry is actually going to show up? For me, I know one of the things I find myself worrying about is settling. I want a relationship that reflects the love that God has for his church, and I want to be a bride that is ready for her husband the way the church is ready for Jesus and I want my husband's love for me to be so great. But it's important for us both to love God more than we love our spouse so that within the marriage the unity of the spirit is maintained through the bond of peace, like I mentioned before. That's what I personally strive for. I think if everyone could have a marriage like that, this world would be so beautiful. Satan comes to destroy that, because he hates how marriage can reflect how much God loves his bride, the church. So he'll do everything in his power to destroy anything special you could have with someone in that way. Protect that vision that you have. If you don't have a vision for your marriage or your spouse, start brainstorming and praying! This is part of The Butterfly Life God intended for us to have. But we have to remember, it all starts in our own individual hearts when we're single and longing for that connection. We have to take a second and remember who God is and who we are, what our purpose is and not worry about tomorrow or the troubles of it but focus on today and giving our best in everything we do. So that one day, when we do meet our future spouse, we are ready and its beautiful.

A song that redirects me into worship with our father and helps me remember this message when i'm lonely and long for my future husband is Running In Circles by United Pursuit and Will Reagan. Click here to listen https://youtu.be/aENeLYzB154