Joy in Sorrow

Distress- extreme anxiety, sorrow or pain

Sorrow - a feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others

People often refer to the time that we have here on earth as our ‘human experience’. No matter what anyone may or may not believe, most everyone is able to come together in their belief that our time on earth is not the end of our story- that we are spirit beings first over human beings. Yet we are left in this human body in this world that fills us with depression, distress, anxiety, sorrow, disappointment, helplessness and a plethora of other forms of pain. This can leave us with a deep emptiness, lack of passion, lack of purpose, lack of motivation, bitterness, physical manifestation of illness (mental or physical), anger and resentment. This allows other kinds of lies to creep in. Fears that we’re not good enough, that there is something wrong with us, that God doesn’t love us, that He doesn’t have a plan for us or that there is no point to even living. It’s a darkness- a darkness that is very real. It’s all around us in this world, and it’s what we fall into when we think we have no one to turn to. Walking around with that kind of pain is heavy... to say the least. 

We all know about the great battle between good and evil or dark and light. This is a battle every day. Some people think they can fight this fight with their own intuition, some people think it isn’t a fight worth fighting because their darkness seems too dark, some people think it’s not real and everything is meaningless. The truth is, darkness is real and light is real. Satan is the ruler of darkness and God is the ruler of light. Darkness is only allowed to be present when we take away the light. Darkness is just merely the absence of light. It doesn’t matter how dark our darkness is, it doesn’t matter how heavy the weight on our shoulders might be and it doesn’t matter how deep the pain might be buried in our hearts. Because in the midst of all this pain, there is truth. Truth isn’t dependent on any person or circumstance.  There is only one truth, and His name is Jesus. He is the way, the truth, and the life. As his children, we should not be looking around or even looking inward for truth. We shouldn’t be seeking anyone or anything for comfort or answers- but rather we must look up. He is such a good father. He created everything good, pure, beautiful and blameless. It is Him that can make beauty from ashes. It is Him that clothes roses in brilliant red. It is Him that allows all of the violets, oranges, pinks, and blues to harmonize in the beauty of every sunrise and sunset. It is Him that allows every snowflake to form it’s unique form. It is Him that brings great purpose to our pain. It is Him that strengthens us in our weakness. It is Him that comforts us in our loss. It is Him that is the little light of hope when we feel surrounded in darkness. It is Him that fills every space of our brokenness when we repent and turn to him and leaves us dripping in the honey of grace and love that fills every part of our spirit with purpose and an absolute assurance. He never leaves us. He never forsakes us. He loves us so much, He wants to know us and for us to know Him. He literally came to earth as a man and went through the trials and tribulations this life has to offer us humans because He wanted us to know He understands every single thing we could ever go through. He has been in the human experience and felt all the pain. His steps are in front of us and they are beside us. He is guiding us and He is with us. 

Think of the worst pain you have ever felt in your life. How did it feel- physically? How would you describe the physical feeling of that emotional pain? Personally, when i felt the worst pain i had ever felt in my life, it felt like someone had a spiked ball spinning and churning in my chest and i just had to let it happen and the only way i could express the pain was through delicate tears that would pour down my still face. Other times it felt like nothing. As if the nothing was it’s own substance that filled my every being. But with this, the only way i could express the pain was to just sit in it and feel the nothing... until I felt enough of something to be able to move even my hand. Then I would eventually be able to get up and walk- but it felt like i was walking out of my body- like I had no control, or everything seemed much slower and more monstrous. Sometimes it hurt so bad the only way for the pain to be felt was for me to ugly cry. It was like the parts of my soul that had been wrecked by the spiked ball were all coming together forming a bomb that could only explode through screaming, tears and snot- the ugly cry where you don’t even care what’s snot and what’s tears, that your face is red and swollen or that your head hurts from the pressure of everything being bottled up you just have to let the pain be felt. It’s weird thinking about the way emotional pain manifests into a pain that feels so physical. Trying to put words to it is merely impossible- because the worst kinds of pain are just like that. But imagine, in the midst of the pain, in the midst of feeling all of our emotions and trying to process it or let it out, that jesus be the light standing right behind us, smiling at us knowing everything His father is going to do with our pain and how beautiful it’s going to be. Imagine him just touching the center of our back, and allowing a spark of light to shine. Imagine how that would bring a smile to our face, with tears still streaming but this sweet assurance just glowing in our hearts.A warm, beautiful and comforting peace. It doesn’t make the pain go away, but it allows all of our brokenness to be filled with goodness. It makes us stronger and more able. Before the pain it was just us and our human selfishness. But after the pain, the deepest parts of us that we felt were destroying us are now filled with a touch of God. It’s like we’re then able to walk around with a little bit of heaven living in us literally guiding and moving us forward- allowing us to not forget or be bitter about what we went through but instead be grateful for it because of how it has given us a heart of gold. It makes me almost want to endure all the pain in the world, so I can be broken down in every way possible just so I can begin to actually look like Him and reflect His good character. It’s funny to me that the enemy thinks he’s hurting us when he comes at us with the painful and terrible things of this life, because when we join with God, we join the winning side. And every single fight we have with the trials of this life, makes God’s warrior’s even stronger. That is why it is so so important for us to fight back. Invite the pain, feel it, but don’t let it defeat you. Go to God, join the winning side, let Him fill your cracks, so you can be made stronger and firmer and you can be confident knowing that YOUR soul is actually making the kingdom of God THAT much stronger. What a beautiful thought.

When we’re in the middle of our pain, it’s easy to be mad at God. It’s easy to blame Him and ask Him why. He has a much bigger perspective than we do. He sees what is going to come from it all, but it’s our job to take a step back and keep that eternal perspective. There is so much glory waiting for us in heaven when we fight the fight, obey his commands, live righteously, and do it all with love. We’re not perfect, but He doesn’t expect us to be. That is why there is Grace. His grace and love is the only way we even have the chance to live this life- to have breathe and health, let alone get through the trials of this life. He is one step ahead of the enemy. God knows the enemy’s plans for us so we never need to worry when we begin to get attacked. God’s got us. He loves us. The only way to fight is to fall in love with Him. We need to stay in tune, we need to get to know Him and we need to obey Him. He has great plans for us, and He can use us for so much. But we still have a choice. We cannot let the sorrow define us. We have to let the joy felt in the sorrow lead us to victory.