The authenticity of excellence
Excellence- the quality of being outstanding or extremely good
Perfection- the quality or state of being without fault or defect
When I think of the word excellent I often think of outstanding, extremely good, pleasing, something to be proud of. On the contrary, when I think of the word perfection I often feel a measure of anxiety and obsession, something to boast about.
Would you consider yourself a perfectionist or an excellent..ist? Is an excellent-ist even a word? Not on my diction list anyway. I have no other choice than to use the word perfectionist. Thus, the connotation forces me into this mindset that I can have no flaws. That my work can have no flaws. So when there are flaws it creates anxiety, shame, fear, embarrassment, and obsession. Which then draws me away from authenticity while i’m trying to put on this perfect facade.
Andrea Matthews, psychology blogger, writes that, “Authenticity is the bottom-line essence of who we are.” She continues on to explain that we oftentimes think that the way to achieve authenticity is to be ‘special’ or ‘unique’ or in a more gen-z way to say it ‘find our niche’. When truly, the way to express authenticity is to be congruent. Meaning that your mind, body, heart and soul are all working together and going in the same direction. It's your most congruent self that is the greatest expression of authentic excellence.
That's where people seem to have a hard time. Are we content with the most congruent versions of ourselves? Of what we create? Or are there things we dislike? Can we be happy with the excellent version? Or does that make us insecure because there might be slight imperfections? can we learn to be comfortable with our imperfections?
What I am learning in this season is to have the drive of a perfectionist. To care about my work and what I do. Not just care- but care deeply and passionately. Strive to iron out the wrinkles. But then to have the ease, control and confidence of an excellent-ist. Someone who does not function in insecurity, who knows who they are, and who knows that them functioning in congruency might mean a slower process but it means that every step of the journey is authentic. and that they value that more than they value perfection and speed.
Especially for me, as a young hairstylist I really hold myself to a high standard. I wouldn’t say I obsess over my work, but at the end of the day when I look back at my history as a hairstylist, or even as a writer, I don’t ever feel ready to present my work until I know that I know that I know that it meets some sort of standard of quality. but what does that even mean? I suppose my various mentors have created a standard for excellence. or all the beauty bloggers i follow on social media. but we all start somewhere. I should feel proud of my work in each stage of my journey, because it’s me functioning in congruency. And that looks different for me in each part of my journey! As does it with other creatives.
I want to personally reach out to whoever is in control of the English language and ask them to make excellentist a word. As a society, I think if we shifted our thinking from perfection to excellence, I think alot more people would function in congruency and feel permission to be the creative they are despite any imperfections. Because everyone is a creative, all called to different areas of life. but i think sometimes we suppress that, for the sake of reaching our standards for what it means to succeed in life. So we chase other things, usually money or status, misaligning the way we’re created to function. But it’s never too late to reassess and realign things the way that feels right to our souls. That is a society I would love to see.
